Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am spending my child support on dildos
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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