I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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