Small penises have feelings too.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
