The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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