Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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