I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
