I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize