Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
tell me about the eggs
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
