Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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