Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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