hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
