Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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