Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
barbara walters just said penis...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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