So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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