seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
