I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
