Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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