What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
foreskin is a definite game changer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
