i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
