Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
