Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
