College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
