he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
