i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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