I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
