i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
