you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
