Sorry, I don't speak sober.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
