Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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