did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
