she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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