so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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