I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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