Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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