I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize