This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
