a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize