so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
