I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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