Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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