So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
