saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
