no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She bit a glass in half.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
