ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
