I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
