Nicole vs. Life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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