The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
