Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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