wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize