I've blown a few things in my day
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
