his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
