if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
