Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize