Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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