I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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