You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
