I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
