I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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