I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
