she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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