Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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