People in love make me want to vomit
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
