I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
