and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
