Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She's the barista slut.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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